Friday, May 13, 2011

The Vacation

My trip to California has been a pleasant one. I have enjoyed my stay here and I enjoy the chance that I have had to work with my father. It is a nice feeling having a job. I enjoy it a tremendous amount. With this being stated, it is incredibly difficult for me to go back to Utah where I don’t have a job and I am not being productive what so ever. The difference is very little between me here and me there. However  I feel as though I am so much more productive here. While I know that it is just as productive, if not more so to find a job independently from my father, it is still just very frustrating to be disciplined enough to go ahead and find one.
                Living in a heavily guarded mormon society does really have its perks though; especially in being able to make correct decisions. Swearing is far more common in secular society than the mormon monastery that I have called my home for the past year. So to is the temptation to watch uncouth and salacious television and movies. It is just so commonly accepted to watch these shows here that it is easy to accep the standards of others as your own. I think Provo is a fitting place for me at the present moment. With this in mind, I think provo has ripened me for satan’s harvest. I havfe loosened my standards while living in Provo in an attempt to be accepted into the mormon culture and as I return down to the real world I am more easily swayed to sin.  
                Regardless of what has transpired throughout this entire trip and my susceptibility towards sin, I have come to the conclusion that I am very glad that I have taken this trip. I have managed to both relax in a different way that I would be able to than in Provo and I have been able to work in a different way than I would be able to in provo. It has been a good trip.
                It is my belief that this trip is merely a microcosm for how my colligiate life is. Since returning home from my mission I have been quite frustrated in regard to my lack of focus on others. It is frustrating to do things for oneself. It is frustrating to educate, feed, and entertain yourself without the thought of others. During my mission it was these actions which constituted a hedonistic lifestyle.  Throughout this time I have felt frustrated and upset.
                During this break I have been reading a book called Same Kind of Different As Me. It is a rather inspiring story regarding the friendship between a rich art dealer and a poor black homeless man. It was during my reading of this inspiring story that I began to reflect upon my future career as a teacher. For the past few months I have been driven to live out a benevolent dream. I have been inspired to help serve people from the ghetto by helping them as a history teacher. It is such a pure and wonderful dream. It is as if I will be stepping back in to my mission doing a thing that is far more worthwhile than just making money. I will be helping and inspiring children to transcend the racial, social, and economic fetters which presently keep them bound.   
                It was at that moment that I realized that my vacation indeed was symbolic of my college experience. Currently I am on a vacation in California, but in the same way, currently I am on a vacation from doing that which is benevolent and kind, but is also difficult. In college I am focusing upon myself and bettering myself in order to better those who I will serve in the future. All that I must now do is learn to enjoy myself and for the present time living for myself.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Scholarship Letter

Dear Call Family,
            I would like to thank you for your contribution on my behalf. Words cannot express the joy that I have experienced since I have received this scholarship. I thank you so much for your desire to assist students in regard to their schooling.
            Receiving this scholarship is one of the most rewarding things has ever happened to me. Allow me to share a little bit about myself. I am an individual who in some regards has been dealt a very difficult hand of cards to play with in the game of life. I am dyslexic. I have ADHD. I suffer from spouts of anxiety and I am clinically diagnosed with depression. I have been diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder.  At times life has been difficult for me to live. I could not read until the fifth grade. I was in remedial classes for the majority of my adolescence. There have been times in college where school just seemed far too difficult. At those times I wanted to quit. I have wanted to give up.
            Growing up with such problems was difficult for me. I have had to endure the jokes that come from unkind and insensitive peers, who considered me to be less than them. I grew up having the world think that I was stupid and incapable. However, I always have known that I was intelligent. I have always known that I was far more capable than anyone has given me credit for being. For many years, however, it bothered me that no one else knew that I was smart.
            While my disabilities have given a great amount of grief, they have also allowed me to learn and to grow in ways that none of my peers can. I have had to work harder and become far more committed to my schoolwork and extracurricular activities because of these disabilities. I have had to humble myself and ask others for assistance. I have had to learn how to win at the game of life even when I was given a lousy set of cards to play with. How I am grateful for those disabilities. They have made me who I am today. How I am grateful for the lessons that they have taught me. I would never trade them for anything. I thank God for giving me these disabilities. I would not trade the hand of cards I have been dealt for anything in this world.
            The scholarship that your family has given me is a momentous occasion in my life. It is physical proof that I have transcended those things which for so many years kept me bound. This scholarship is evidence that I have overcome much in my life. I thank both your family and God for the opportunity to receive this scholarship. You have no idea what this means to me.

With much appreciation,

P.S. If you wish to stay in contact with me please feel free to email me at