Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Romney 2012

Fellow bloggers,

I have decided to defer Teach for America for a moment to run for Vice President of BYUSA. I know this may come as a shock to you right now. In all honesty it comes as a surprise to me, but I feel that the role of Vice President of Brigham Young University is a heavenly calling. While I believe I can make a difference in the lives of underprivileged minorities by teaching them how to read and by helping them to prepare for college and future vocation, I also feel as though I will make a more lasting impact on those over-privileged, white upper class individuals who have already been accepted into college. An old Japanese proverb states “if you give a man a fish he will have a meal for a day; but if you teach a man to fish he can have a meal for a lifetime.” I feel as though teaching minorities how to read is like giving them fish, whereas planning activities for the students of Brigham Young University will be like teaching these individuals how to fish.
Now to answer the real question… What is my platform?
As Vice President of BYUSA I will dedicate myself to changing the school in three ways:

1. I will create separate-but-equal classrooms and libraries for the married and single students.
a. I am aware that many of you, like me, have strategically sat at the same table of the best- looking girl on campus in an attempt to make her your future soul mate- only to see the sparkle of a gem on her left ring finger. Note: This is far more embarrassing if you do not recognize that she has wedding ring until after you begin to flirt with her.
b. With this new program I promise that marriage statistics at BYU will skyrocket by twenty five percent.
2. I will support the Elementary Education program by providing daily field trips to Brigham Young University.
a. I admit this is my running mate's idea, but I too think it's an awesome idea. What better way to install cougar spirit at a young age than to invite elementary students onto our campus.
3. Lastly, I will change the name of the “early childhood development” major to the “If you have a pulse I will marry you” major.
a. ‘nuff said’

Well fellow bloggers,
see you at the polls.

Rojo VP of BYUSA

Oh by the way, my running mate is this guy.

Evans and Shumway, "Combining Experience with Youth"

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

A David John Valentine

Happy Valentine's Day! I will say it again. Happy Valentine's Day! Not surprisingly, I am semi-alone on the day of St. Valentine. I had no official valentines, just potential valentines. You know... I think God made Valentine's Day for single people to be able to empathize with those who come from rough and broken households and end up hating important holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. There is just no other reasonable explanation.
After this year I have decided that single people choose to cope with the fact that they are alone for Valentine's Day in a variety of ways. There are those who choose to blow up Facebook by making some comment like “ohhh just have such a great fun day planned LoLz…Wish I had a valentine though.” There are those who choose to spend the day in the arms of other lonely friends. They take solace that there are others like them.
Then there is my favorite type of coper, the baker. This usually is a role confined primarily to women. In attempt to relinquish the angst and passion of not having a valentine, they choose to bake... and bake they do. Sugar cookies, frosted corn wreath hearts, chocolate cinnamon bears, and nameless other treats. Anyone and everyone who has ever talked to these people will be getting a dozen or so sugar cookies and a small cardboard note saying "Happy Valentine's Day."
At this time you may be wondering, “Rojo, how do you cope with the fact that you don’t have a valentine?” To which I will give you a cogent and simple response: “Freshmen.” Yes, that is correct. I decided to cope with the fact that I didn’t have a valentine by asking a freshman out. I didn’t ask one freshman out; rather I asked four freshmen, all of which are friends. I did not ask them to go with just me, but rather I decided to spread the freshmen wealth with all of my friends. I single-handedly organized a quadruple date with my friends (I do not use their names in an attempt to protect the guilty... but one of their names rhymes with Shamison Jeffer) and myself.
I spent the past three hours on this quadruple date with my best friends and a small group of freshmen women. We went to Spark Lounge. Following Spark Lounge we watched a movie (no cuddling, you should be proud).
My freshman was spunky, cute, and a lot of fun. She was a great valentine. However, I don’t know if it will work out. We may just be too different.. Or maybe it's the fact that half of a decade separates us. While we were at Spark I looked at two of my friends and noticed that they were really hitting it off. We then dropped the freshmen off at David John Hall. To my surpise and to my horror I noticed that one of my buddies had gotten the freshman's number. After the girls walked into the dorms, I found out that my other friend had gotten his freshman's number. It was one crazy, enjoyable, stupid night.

From David John with Love,
Date Rom

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Romney The Poet

I have become a poet. Yes, like Robert Frost, Edgar Allen Poe, and Tupac Shakur before me I am now expressing my words through the medium of peotry. The angst and passion that has propelled my blog into stardom will now shift towards the art of poetry. Free verse, Haiku, and other forms of poetry are what I will specialize in. I performed a number of these poems for my ward's talent show, and that was pretty great. I'll be sure to post the video as soon as it gets uploaded to YouTube.

St. Valentine's day T.F.A. s'lected
infamous you are to most Los Angeles disected
kind you are to few. Romney detected

Austin H. Heywood To bed I must go
a special and lovely friend Giving up on life am I
End it with that girl My charming pillow

Friday, February 3, 2012

Extreme Makeover RoJo's Blog Edition

Look at my Blog. Look very hard. Look all around. Do you notice anything different?

If you have said that the subheading on my blog now uses correct grammar you are correct. You may be asking yourselves, "Rom what has come over you? Your using 'an' instead of 'a'. Its like your learning basic English skills." Well friends I am proud to tell you that hell has not froze over. I still use poor poor grammar. However, I am setting a goal to get more people to read my blog and I am tired of people seeing the true me. So I have decided to hire an editor. I present to you my faithful blog readers for your sustaining vote, my room mate, Nathan Michael Moorhead as editor 'n chief of the Rom's Greetings from blog.

Picture of Nate Moorhead when I typed his name on Google 

All those in favor please manifest.

All those opposed if any

go jump off a bridge.

Welcome to the team Nate
Love RoJo

You may be wondering what I am paying Nathan Michael Moorhead for doing this great service. The answer is peanuts. I am paying Nate peanuts. Does this mean I start paying the water, gas, and electricity bills for our apartment on time? Nope. I am planning on giving Nate peanuts.