Yesterday I was asked by my mother and Uncle Ricky to pick up my grandpa who has just had surgery and take him to his hearing aid appointment. Begrudgingly I agreed to do so. I had things to do and people to see but I suppose that these things were not as important as taking your eighty seven year old grandpa to his doctors appointment. However, that did not soften the fact that my day would be spent accompanying old iron sides whilst he traveled throughout the greater Utah and salt Lake County's (not to mention I would have to take him to the school of the devil. Also known as the university of Utah). I decided to do it for one reason. I respect my grandfather. I respect the person he is, and the person he has been. He was the attorney general of Utah, a bishop in the LDS church, a patriarch, and most pertinent to me in my life a great father to my mother. For that I suppose I owed his old bones ( I use that term not in a pejorative manner but rather in a fond and jovial tone) a trip or two to the doctors.
I arrived at his him and much to my dissatisfaction I noticed every door in the house to be locked. I then remembered that my uncle spent the night last night and he like myself has a tendency to imagine the worst of all possible situations happening and as a result he prepares for such. There was no way of getting into the house so I had to call up Vern Romney and request that he open the door. It took Grandpa Vern about five minutes to walk down the stairs and open the door up for me. When he arrived I saw that he was wearing a blue shirt. It was a nice collard polo. I then entered the room went to shake my grandfathers hand and noticed that the man was wearing no pants whatsoever. There his lower body stood nude and completely unashamed. He himself was unashamed of his grandson seeing him naked.
This was not the first time that I had seen a person wear a t shirt without pants. Nor was this the first time I had seen my grandfather do something rash like this. On my mission a four hundred pound black woman investigating the LDS faith by the name of ranisha drove up, honked her horn, and beckoned that I come to talk to her. When I went up to her car window and asked if we could visit her for a bible study sometime I noticed that she was wearing absolutely no pants nor underwear whatsoever. I went blind for a couple of days. However, I was once blind but now I see.
Three days after returning home from my mission I went with my aforementioned uncle and grandfather to the BYU SDSU basketball game. While driving home Grandpa requested that we stop. We concurred and went to the nearest gas station so that we could refill on gas and relieve our dear grandpa. We arrived at the gas station and found that we needed a key to go to the bathroom. I went to go find the key and when I came back with my key my grandpa had already finished his business.
I think I have figured out why grandpa does these things. For a long time I didn't know, but now I do. What am I going to say to him? What is anyone going to say? "Grandpa you need to put on pants." and then grandpa would say, "you need to shut your mouth and realize that I reared your mother the best women you ever have known." or I could state "grandpa you need to use wait until we get to the restroom." then he would state, "you need to wait until you have gone through the invasion of Okinawa, raised seven children, and been a bishop and patriarch before telling me what to do." What can I say? honestly this guy has done more with his life then I ever will. All I can do is allow him to live the few years of his life without the burden of pants or bathrooms.