Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Two Decade Man

I'm officially a two-decade man. You may be wondering, "what the F does that mean?" Well I'll tell you. For quite some time this girl in Teach For America has been after me. This in itself is a rare and isolated occurence. However, the strangest thing about this girl is that she is no girl at all. She is a fully grown woman. She has a child by the name of Domminick who turns 14 in September. How old is she? I'm not sure, but this may give a clue as to how old she really is. She told me that she was in the same hotel Tupac was staying in the night he was killed.  And she was in college then... Meanwhile, I was in Ms. Drake's kindergarten class and I had just mastered using the toilet unassisted. This screenshot is also another example that shows her age.

Notice the xoxoxo's. I thought texting killed that. 

Now let's be objective about this. She's pretty good-looking, in a "soccer mom" kind of way. I'm cool with it. Anyway, shes been wanting to go out with me for a while now. I finally said yes. We got Indian food, and it was fun. She was way interesting. She told me that she graduated in 1991. This is big news for me. This means that I now have a 20-year spread on dates. 

Bloggers, from here on out you can refer to me as Veinte, Dos Decades, or the Berlin Wall.

Until next time, may my spread increase. 
Rojo 1991-2011

P.S. She told me that she was 37 but I personally think she's shaving off a couple of years to impress me. 


  1. Is this the best blog post I've read in a long time? Yes. Do I comment on everything you post? Also yes.

  2. i will fly down there and murder you if you go on a second date

  3. Rom, I can't believe that you would throw this woman under the bus by posting her full name on your blog.
    Also Cousin Andy, I will fly down there and Murder Romney if he DOESN'T go on a second date with her.

  4. Also, the Tupac thing cracked me up. He wasn't murdered by the way, he still is alive and well.

    P.S. xo's are still in use today. I can't believe this is the first woman to text you them....actually I can.

  5. You never fail to entertain Rom. Oh, and bring a much needed smile to my face.