Sunday, January 26, 2014

Yoga Chicks

I don’t know if there is anything stranger than a chick that is really into Yoga. I am going to give it the old college try and describe the level of craziness that most chicks that do Yoga are in. I’ll admit that the first time I met one of these new aged calm and open minded dames I was fooled. The fact that she spoke with a soft tone, could contort her body into the shape of a pretzel, and was lathered in essential oils kind of threw me off. I guess I associated confidence with Yoga chicks.
I suppose I should of listened to Teddy Roosevelt’s advice “Keep calm and don’t try and date Yoga Chicks.”  Anyway, as time has gone on I have begun to realize that women that are really, really, really into yoga are really, really, really bat shiz crazy.
 The other night I was chatting up a girl who sat in front of me at my yoga class. She was attractive and seemingly normal and when I say normal I mean that she didn’t have a super high voice or an extra appendage. Throughout the beginning of the class I made eye contact with her a half a dozen times.
 Then, It came time for our warior one posses. I had my arms straight, my hands forward, and my legs in runners lunge position. I looked forward and noticed that the  that fly yogi right in front of me was doing the same yoga position with one exception.  Her hands clenched together in the shape of a gun. Slowly the yogi bent her upper body backwards, so much so that her head and upper body was facing me but were upside down. Meanwhile  her lower body faced the exact opposite direction.
 She then looked at me with her face upside down. She extended her hands in gun shape pose number two towards me and pretended to shoot me. The yogi smiled and gave me a wink and then went back to normal warrior one position.
Now if I have painted my encounter with this woman as something that is sexy, I apologize. Really all this woman needed to was to eject green vomit from her mouth for me to believe that she was in need of an excorcism. No body and I mean no body should ever look like that.
Anyway this is one of a handful of experiences that lead me to believe that Yoga chicks may not be as confident and edgy as they want you to believe. I think that when you attempt to flirt with a man you hardly know while your torso is going the exact opposite way that it should be, you may have a problem.  


  1. I don't get to say this often enough Romney, you are WRONG! So So So So Wrong! Romney, one day you will figure out why limber women are an amazing thing.

  2. Dude Rojo this is hilarious. My girlfriend does yoga but only like to stretch not with all the crazy positions and what not. But yeah if a girl did that to me I would be similarly freaked out.