Thursday, June 26, 2014

Arch Enemies

 I have come to a profound conclusion. I have come to a supreme realization.  I have discovered a truth.
 This truth is that it is much better loving to hate someone than hating to love someone. I've spent too much of my grown man life hating how much I love someone. I haven''t spent enough time loving to hate an individual.
This truth came to me in the form of a man.

His name is Clint Abramson, and he represents all that is bad in the world, all that was bad in the world, and he represents all that will ever be bad in the world.

What initially started out as a small tiff in a game of basketball has evolved (or devolved, I suppose, if you are a pessimist) into an intense hatred for one another. The hatred that we have for one another has become gotten bad.

"How bad?" you ask.

Real bad.

I mean it's gotten to the point that we will not acknowledge one another's comments, presence, or right to exist on the same globe.

"Rom, that last GIF of the man throwing the baby did allow me to get an understanding of your intense hatred for the man, but why do you enjoy hating him? It sounds miserable."

Well reader, I am glad you asked that question. Having an arch nemesis is a unique thing and is hard for some people to understand. But let me do my best to try to explain why I love hating Clint.

Hating Clint Abramson has given me purpose in life. It has made the highs higher and the lows lower. It has made things infinitely more bitter and infinitely more sweet. Every Wednesday, I strap up my basketball shoes with an extra sense of excitement as look forward to proving to the world that I am a better basketball player than Clint.

When I play Yahtzee, I look forward to beating Clint, even though Clint isn't even playing.
(Look at how lame Clint's grandpa is at Yahtzee.)                                                           

 When I write poetry, I look forward to making sure that my poem is a thousand times better than Clint's.  

My poem 
Clint's poem

You know, I have a dream.
 That dream is that I will live on the same block as Clint Abramson for the rest of my life. I have a dream to teach my children to sabotage Clint's lawnmower and score better in school than his kids do. I have a dream to die directly after he takes his last breath. 

I just hope that I don't end up actually talking to this guy and realizing that he isn't half as bad as I made him out to be. That happened to my last arch nemesis, and all that I got out of the relationship is a Facebook friend who occasionally comments on my wall about sports stuff. 

Well readers,
Just in case you didn't get a good look image of Clint Abramson in your mind,  I Google imaged a couple of pictures of the man. Here they are.

Until Next time, 




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