Before I get going here I must make the following disclaimer: this is the first (and likely last) post on this blog which is not actually penned by Sir Romulous Jones the Magnificent Mormon. With that said, I'll now proceed to break down the ever-curious "Curry Curse."
Some time ago, a colleague of mine by the name of John R. Evans informed me of this supposed curse. I had not previously heard of anything so radical in all my days. Professor Evans claimed to have empirical research that proved this curse to be real. He told me, and I quote:
"Any time you take a girl out for Thai food, regardless of all other factors, it will absolutely, without-a-doubt be the last date you will ever go on with that girl."Being one who has been on the more fortunate side of the dating scene, and also one who happens to love Thai food, I found Evans' claim to be completely nonsensical- until I tested it.
Story #1. About this time last year I was dating a girl long-distance. We missed each other, as might be expected, so she hopped on a plane to come spend a weekend with me. One night that weekend we stopped at a nice Thai place for dinner. The absurd thought that it was our last date did not even cross my mind. As "fate" would have it, however, we broke up just a few days after she returned home.
Story #2. Approximately six months ago I was set up on a blind date with a very attractive girl who hailed from the east coast. Ironically, the Cupid here was everyone's favorite Rojo. The blind date went surprisingly well, so I decided I wanted to take her out again. We spent some time together over the next while in more casual settings before committing the curry sin, and interest was very evident from both her and me. And then I had the brilliant idea of going out for Thai food... I don't think I need to go into much detail here, but it will suffice to say that things fizzled about as quickly as they sizzled. For better or worse, we both became extremely busy and that was the end of that.
Story #3. Less than a month ago I started crushing on another would-be curry victim. Things began slowly, but once the ball got rolling it looked like its course would be fairly tough to impede. That is, until we went to dinner at yet another supplier of curry. Incredulous to the idea that anything could go so wrong so quickly, I told her about the "curse" over dinner. We laughed about it. And then, just the very next day everything came to a swift halt and later that week she began seeing one of my good friends.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are taught in 2 Corinthians 13:1 that the truth will be made known to us by two or three witnesses. I have given three sound accounts here (and believe me, it's happened more than three times) that should remove any doubt in your mind of the validity and reality of this curse. I failed to mention in the individual stories that each of these relationships was not terminated immediately, but rather there was no desire to extend to another date following the deliciously poisoned Thai curry. Every single one of these trips to get Thai food was actually very enjoyable in the moment; it was not until a few days later that I was left scratching my head. If you have experienced the Curry Curse firsthand, please feel free to join the ever-growing online support group at www.currycurse.com. For those who have not yet fallen prey, consider yourself warned.