Sunday, September 16, 2012


Light the Menorah, sprinkle lamb's blood over the door, and let Elijah have the last bit of meal from the widow's barrel. Jew will never guess what I did tonight...
I kissed one of the chosen people. I have wanted to do this for quite some time now. Some would say that it is a fulfillment of prophecy, like unto the rebuilding of Solomon’s Temple. Alisa Malki, the first girl that I ever really liked, was Jewish.  Ever since that moment in time I have had two things happen to me. First, I have become an enthusiast, sympathist, and advocate for Israeli causes (I consider myself somewhere in the ballpark of the man in the Good Samaritan parable and Oskar Schindler). Second, I have an itching case of Matzah ball fever. 

            I took her out on a real kosher date (excluding the fact that her lips touched goyim such as myself). We went to an El Salvadorian night club. I'm guessing that she found it really attractive that I would take her to a place where they had both the worst papusas on the planet and also some of the least attractive people sensually dancing with one another on the dance floor. After this, I taught her to skateboard (I think I'm a little bit better than her). We talked about teaching since we both teach, and then she told me about her bat mitzvah that was on a yacht.   I think that was about one of the sexiest things a woman has ever told me.

            Anyway, it was a good time. I really don’t know what is going to happen. I mean, she seems pretty freaking Jewish (as well as pretty freaking gorgeous and interesting) and I am pretty freaking Mormon, and I am not looking to marry anyone who is not of the not-chosen faith.We'll see how things go... I may just have to take her out to Thai Food.
Well, until next time.

Being circumcised in mind, heart, and body,


Wait you are wondering about the bit about Thai food? There is a story behind it. Let me tell you… next blog post.  

No comments:

Post a Comment