Sunday, July 3, 2011

Romney Evans Bowling Lane Technician.

 Well after three months of the daily search I have finally found a job. If there is one thing that I have learned from this entire thing it is the fact that no matter how hard you try, no matter how good your accolades are, how talented, good looking, smart, and poetic you may be a snowball has a much greater chance surviving the fiery inferno's of the great beyond then you have getting a job without knowing anyone. I have finally found a job. A couple of weeks ago I contacted my friend David Lake to see if he has any job openings whatsoever. He responded with a no but told me to send a resume to him so he could notify me if anything opened up. I didn't do it but it was a good suggestion.
 Two weeks ago Dave sent me a text saying if I wanted a job I better send that resume in. I responded that I did indeed want the job and then immediately went to work on the resume. At about the halfway point I texted David and asked what the job that I was applying for was. He then told me a bowling lane technician. Now, if there was ever a job title that would suit me less I wouldn't know. There is not a technical bone in my body. There never has been. There never will be. That is a fact. It is a fact that has existed from the beginning of Romney and will continue to exist well after I am buried and my flesh has been eaten by maggots and worms alike. So the thought of a technician is ridiculous in almost anyway one could imagine. Bowling lane technician is by no means an exception to this rule. However, I decided to finish my cover letter and resume and just hope that David doesn't know me to well--- on a side note I somehow managed to relate every possible job that I have ever had to being a bowling lane technician and let me tell you that is a difficult feat when the only jobs you have ever had are pushing products to customers or pushing children into swimming pools---. The good thing was that David didn't know me to well and that was that. I later received a call from Peter (the head student of BYU bowling and the identical twin of james franco) asking me if I could come into the bowling alley for an interview. 
I entered the interview five minutes late. We had a informal chit chat and I was introduced to the old man who was the head lane technician. I noticed that he had more hair on the top of his head than I did on mine. The rest of the interview I spent gazing the top of this mans head wishing that I could have that much hair. I am tired of writing so I am just gonna finish this post. I got the job. I have no idea how I did and the fact that I did is a testament to knowing people.

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