Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Romney 2012

Fellow bloggers,

I have decided to defer Teach for America for a moment to run for Vice President of BYUSA. I know this may come as a shock to you right now. In all honesty it comes as a surprise to me, but I feel that the role of Vice President of Brigham Young University is a heavenly calling. While I believe I can make a difference in the lives of underprivileged minorities by teaching them how to read and by helping them to prepare for college and future vocation, I also feel as though I will make a more lasting impact on those over-privileged, white upper class individuals who have already been accepted into college. An old Japanese proverb states “if you give a man a fish he will have a meal for a day; but if you teach a man to fish he can have a meal for a lifetime.” I feel as though teaching minorities how to read is like giving them fish, whereas planning activities for the students of Brigham Young University will be like teaching these individuals how to fish.
Now to answer the real question… What is my platform?
As Vice President of BYUSA I will dedicate myself to changing the school in three ways:

1. I will create separate-but-equal classrooms and libraries for the married and single students.
a. I am aware that many of you, like me, have strategically sat at the same table of the best- looking girl on campus in an attempt to make her your future soul mate- only to see the sparkle of a gem on her left ring finger. Note: This is far more embarrassing if you do not recognize that she has wedding ring until after you begin to flirt with her.
b. With this new program I promise that marriage statistics at BYU will skyrocket by twenty five percent.
2. I will support the Elementary Education program by providing daily field trips to Brigham Young University.
a. I admit this is my running mate's idea, but I too think it's an awesome idea. What better way to install cougar spirit at a young age than to invite elementary students onto our campus.
3. Lastly, I will change the name of the “early childhood development” major to the “If you have a pulse I will marry you” major.
a. ‘nuff said’

Well fellow bloggers,
see you at the polls.

Rojo VP of BYUSA

Oh by the way, my running mate is this guy.

Evans and Shumway, "Combining Experience with Youth"

No comments:

Post a Comment