Thursday, September 22, 2011

Sit Down

I do not intend this to be a blog about BYU football, but it just might become that. Today I was walking out of the Wilkinson center and spotted a table with a football helmet and a flag that said rise up. To the right of this flag was the most meat head looking coach standing there asking everyone to sign his rise up flag. I observed from a distance and I was not spotted by this coach who is still attempting to relive his glory days as a once relatively good starter for the BYU football Cougars. The flag was littered with signatures of people who still supported their BYU football Cougars. Occasionally the coach would yell, "hey man Rise Up." I then walked away.
 This is the absolute most asinine thing that I have ever before witnessed. Meat-head football coach, how dare you pollute the scenery of this already crappy looking campus. Its bad enough that I have to go to school in a campus which is an jumbled mess of the worst architecture that the fifties, sixties, and seventies had to offer. I thought BYU was improving when they knocked down Deseret towers and did renovations on Heritage halls, but you here with one table measuring a foot and a half in width and three week in length have managed to make up for all of the positive changes that this place has made in the past five years.
 As for you flag you can go ahead and impale it up Braden Brown's hind parts. You actually want me to sign a rise up flag? After the game you played on Saturday night you expect me to support your team. If I sign that flag will Jake Heaps magically stop fumbling the ball? If I sign your flag will that magically make Bronco Mendenhall stop wearing the same Band of Brothers Tshirt that he has been wearing for the past three seasons now? If so I will gladly sign it, but you football coach, wearing your oakley sunglasses and BYU gym shorts, know as well as I do that these things will not come to pass if I sign this flag. The only thing that I could hope for is that signing this flag will allow me to get a refund for my all sports pass.
Am I a Cougar fan? Yes I am. But when you play a little bit worse then the combined members of the general auxilary board of the church could have don't expect me to sign your flag. If I did so I would be signing a commitment to mediocrity. I'd be approving piss poor performance.
  And so readers of my blog I will tell you what I am going to do. I am going to go to the game tomorrow night with a paper bag over my head. I will support my team, but I am ashamed of what they are. 
Those who are ashamed of what the Cougars are should do the same.


  1. you should send this in to the daily universe's readers forum. it would probably cause quite the reaction! (this is sarah holden's friend, btw)