Rom your love life is nuts, but how is teaching going?

Thanks friend I am glad you can ask. Here is a link to my teaching blog.
http://mresdc.blogspot.com/

Along with my most recent story.

It is appalling to see what some of these kids write down for answers .Today I tried to explain what a democracy was through the use of an example of voting for a class mascot. I created three class mascots that included the following

 Vato Loco,

Intellectual kitten,

 and Curious George Lopez.





 I was most proud of curious George Lopez. I spliced a picture of George Lopez and put it on Curious George’s face. I thought the kids would like it, but they hated it.



Anyway, It failed miserably. Like really bad, but I guess that is the life of a first year teacher in SDC. I am not teaching to their level. I am teaching far beyond their capabilities and I am trying to see who is swimming. Thus far, not many people are swimming. This fact is exhibited by the following exit ticket. I asked, “what is a democracy?” One of the students responded with the following answer. 

                At least he remembered Curious George Lopez.

                                Until the next time, I’ll be watching my students monkey around.

Mr. E in 215.

The Curry Curse

Greetings readers,

Before I get going here I must make the following disclaimer: this is the first (and likely last) post on this blog which is not actually penned by Sir Romulous Jones the Magnificent Mormon.  With that said, I'll now proceed to break down the ever-curious "Curry Curse."

Some time ago, a colleague of mine by the name of John R. Evans informed me of this supposed curse.  I had not previously heard of anything so radical in all my days.  Professor Evans claimed to have empirical research that proved this curse to be real.  He told me, and I quote:

"Any time you take a girl out for Thai food, regardless of all other factors, it will absolutely, without-a-doubt be the last date you will ever go on with that girl."

Being one who has been on the more fortunate side of the dating scene, and also one who happens to love Thai food, I found Evans' claim to be completely nonsensical- until I tested it.

Story #1.  About this time last year I was dating a girl long-distance.  We missed each other, as might be expected, so she hopped on a plane to come spend a weekend with me.  One night that weekend we stopped at a nice Thai place for dinner.  The absurd thought that it was our last date did not even cross my mind.  As "fate" would have it, however, we broke up just a few days after she returned home.

Story #2.  Approximately six months ago I was set up on a blind date with a very attractive girl who hailed from the east coast.  Ironically, the Cupid here was everyone's favorite Rojo.  The blind date went surprisingly well, so I decided I wanted to take her out again.  We spent some time together over the next while in more casual settings before committing the curry sin, and interest was very evident from both her and me.  And then I had the brilliant idea of going out for Thai food...  I don't think I need to go into much detail here, but it will suffice to say that things fizzled about as quickly as they sizzled.  For better or worse, we both became extremely busy and that was the end of that.

Story #3.  Less than a month ago I started crushing on another would-be curry victim.  Things began slowly, but once the ball got rolling it looked like its course would be fairly tough to impede.  That is, until we went to dinner at yet another supplier of curry.  Incredulous to the idea that anything could go so wrong so quickly, I told her about the "curse" over dinner.  We laughed about it.  And then, just the very next day everything came to a swift halt and later that week she began seeing one of my good friends.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are taught in 2 Corinthians 13:1 that the truth will be made known to us by two or three witnesses.  I have given three sound accounts here (and believe me, it's happened more than three times) that should remove any doubt in your mind of the validity and reality of this curse.  I failed to mention in the individual stories that each of these relationships was not terminated immediately, but rather there was no desire to extend to another date following the deliciously poisoned Thai curry.  Every single one of these trips to get Thai food was actually very enjoyable in the moment; it was not until a few days later that I was left scratching my head.  If you have experienced the Curry Curse firsthand, please feel free to join the ever-growing online support group at www.currycurse.com.  For those who have not yet fallen prey, consider yourself warned.

Shalom

Light the Menorah, sprinkle lamb's blood over the door, and let Elijah have the last bit of meal from the widow's barrel. Jew will never guess what I did tonight...

I kissed one of the chosen people. I have wanted to do this for quite some time now. Some would say that it is a fulfillment of prophecy, like unto the rebuilding of Solomon’s Temple. Alisa Malki, the first girl that I ever really liked, was Jewish.  Ever since that moment in time I have had two things happen to me. First, I have become an enthusiast, sympathist, and advocate for Israeli causes (I consider myself somewhere in the ballpark of the man in the Good Samaritan parable and Oskar Schindler). Second, I have an itching case of Matzah ball fever. 

            I took her out on a real kosher date (excluding the fact that her lips touched goyim such as myself). We went to an El Salvadorian night club. I'm guessing that she found it really attractive that I would take her to a place where they had both the worst papusas on the planet and also some of the least attractive people sensually dancing with one another on the dance floor. After this, I taught her to skateboard (I think I'm a little bit better than her). We talked about teaching since we both teach, and then she told me about her bat mitzvah that was on a yacht.   I think that was about one of the sexiest things a woman has ever told me.

            Anyway, it was a good time. I really don’t know what is going to happen. I mean, she seems pretty freaking Jewish (as well as pretty freaking gorgeous and interesting) and I am pretty freaking Mormon, and I am not looking to marry anyone who is not of the not-chosen faith.We'll see how things go... I may just have to take her out to Thai Food.

Well, until next time.

Being circumcised in mind, heart, and body,

Rojo 

Wait you are wondering about the bit about Thai food? There is a story behind it. Let me tell you… next blog post.  

Award Winners

Hey Y'all Provo Enthusiasts,

Greetings from Los Angeles, "home of the diverse... even when you don't want it to be." I am loving Los Angeles- I have really made it my home. All that I really had to do to make it home was to simply arrive at the conclusion that I wasn't going to miss Provo anymore. To be candid, I don't miss Provo. Not at all. I do miss my friends in Provo, but the intense pressure for me to date, get married, and just act like a Mormon is completely gone.

With this stated, I am grateful for all the love you have sent my way since BYU started its Fall semester. It has been great to receive texts from you all and to hear how much you miss me. I am grateful I have such friends. So grateful in fact I have decided to give you guys awards.

                                                                   
Best Documentation of a Relationship on Instagram 
             Andy Romney & Chelsea Livermore

"Amazing," "astounding," & "unbelievable" are just a few of the adjectives used by critics to describe the ferocity with which the two of these individuals have posted pictures on Instagram. Thanks to Instagram, there has never been a question in my mind whether or not my cousin and my future cousin were still together. Whether it was the two of them swimming in the Cherry Village pool, taking a trip to California, or just walking around Provo, I always knew exactly where the two of them were and what they were doing.

(Runner Up: Alex McDonell and His Skateboard)

First Phone Response

Samantha J. Topham 

This award was a tough one to give out. Between Jake Balser, Samantha Topham, and the rotting corpse of my Grandma Pingree it was a virtual toss up. However, after sending off eight consecutive text messages and three phone calls without the slightest iota of a response, I decided that if I was going into cardiac arrest I'd just say "Screw Life Alert, I am calling Sam Topham."

Best Boiled Chicken 

Jason M. DeLange 

The thing I may miss most about not living in Provo is coming home to fresh aroma of partially thawed chicken. No sweeter smell has ever graced the olfactory senses than that of Jason's chicken. 

Happy Birthday to Kelsey Page!

Kelsey-
Not only do you get your very own blog post on my blog, but I am also going to get Google Reader just so I can follow your WordPress blog.

Two Decade Man

I'm officially a two-decade man. You may be wondering, "what the F does that mean?" Well I'll tell you. For quite some time this girl in Teach For America has been after me. This in itself is a rare and isolated occurence. However, the strangest thing about this girl is that she is no girl at all. She is a fully grown woman. She has a child by the name of Domminick who turns 14 in September. How old is she? I'm not sure, but this may give a clue as to how old she really is. She told me that she was in the same hotel Tupac was staying in the night he was killed.  And she was in college then... Meanwhile, I was in Ms. Drake's kindergarten class and I had just mastered using the toilet unassisted. This screenshot is also another example that shows her age.

Notice the xoxoxo's. I thought texting killed that. 

Now let's be objective about this. She's pretty good-looking, in a "soccer mom" kind of way. I'm cool with it. Anyway, shes been wanting to go out with me for a while now. I finally said yes. We got Indian food, and it was fun. She was way interesting. She told me that she graduated in 1991. This is big news for me. This means that I now have a 20-year spread on dates. 

Bloggers, from here on out you can refer to me as Veinte, Dos Decades, or the Berlin Wall.

Until next time, may my spread increase. 

Rojo 1991-2011

P.S. She told me that she was 37 but I personally think she's shaving off a couple of years to impress me. 

Markhem

My first week of teaching has finished, and to be candid with you the stories that I have from my classroom have really been quite a letdown . I am teaching at Markhem Middle School in Watts. The school is surrounded by four of the largest projects in Los Angeles, one of them being the second largest this side of the Mississippi. When a friend of mine googled Markhem Middle School, the first article that showed up had this opening “even in the most challenging of economic times, many unemployed teachers would rather remain jobless than teach in one of the harshest environments.”

The lack of scholarly expectation for this school created a high expectation for stories to be told within my mind. Sadly this has not been the case yet.  The students in my mind are too well-behaved. They are too obedient, and they are too boring. My first week on the job has been relatively boring. I mean there was  John Williams III (da third) who wants to go to college, have a wife and kids, and own a house. When I further pushed and questioned John about his future profession he said "naw Mr. Evans I got that figured out… After college I’m gonna bag groceries at Wal-Mart." For the most part, the stories of these children have been rather dull and boring.

           
While there has been a relative lack of excitement in regard to the drama in my students' lives, there is no durth in the troubles that they face. There are about five kids in my seventh grade Pre-Algebra class who haven’t the slightest clue how to perform the times tables. One kid even used a freaking numberline. I have about three kids reading on grade level, the rest are behind a grade or two, and there are about three who have a first or second grade reading level.

The saddest part about all of this is that these students are in the magnet program of the school. They are the scholars of Markhem Elementary. I hope they can succeed and I hope that I can help them, but I will be dead honest- can one teacher really change the life of all thirty of his students? I’d like to believe so and I want to work towards that, but I’m not sure it can happen.

My greatest fear is failing to give up as much as I reasonably can for these children.  I always feel like I can do better and I always feel that I can do more to help. We will have to see how everything works out. I hope it will go well.